The Fear of Being Criticized
- dolpers64
- 3 nov.
- 4 min de lecture
The Fear of Being Criticized
The fear of being criticized is one of the most universal and paralyzing fears that exist. It can hinder expression, boldness, creativity, public speaking, self-assertion, and countless beautiful projects that deserved to come to life. Yet this fear is not a life sentence. It can be explored, tamed, and most importantly transformed.
Where Does This Fear Come From?
At the root of this feeling lie psychological and social factors. This fear arises from influences such as upbringing, mockery, the need for belonging, past experiences, and hurtful remarks. Every one of us carries this fear deep within. Some people have simply learned to move past it and keep going despite criticism.
We all want to belong to society, and the factors above make it hard not to be afraid :
Depending on how we were raised, criticism may be perceived as a threat, especially when it’s repetitive.
We all need to feel part of something. Criticism can feel like rejection from the group we want to belong to, and that fear of exclusion can prevent people from pursuing certain goals.
Past experiences also shape this fear. If we’ve been mocked for our choices or ideas, we’ll hesitate to speak up again for fear of triggering others’ judgment.
Hurtful remarks go hand in hand with mockery. They may seem trivial when spoken, but they can deeply wound the person receiving them. These remarks can make someone feel rejected and afraid to speak again, fearing further criticism and pain.
Why Does This Fear Block Personal Growth?
Personal development means daring to try things to become better. But with a constant fear of doing things wrong, people who want to grow end up doing nothing, and eventually give up.
More clearly, fear :
Prevents boldness : It stops people from speaking, creating, and trying new things for fear of judgment.
Leads to self-censorship : Fear increases self-censorship by limiting behavior to what society deems “acceptable.”
Encourages conformity : Fear amplifies the need to belong. People driven by fear act only to please, not to respect or improve themselves.
Blocks learning : Constant criticism turns into emotional wounds that hinder growth.
6 Steps to Tame the Fear of Criticism
Distinguish Criticism from Attack
Not all criticism is aggression. Some are clumsy, others helpful. Learning to sort through them helps avoid taking everything personally and allows for growth.
Example : “You should work out more, look at yourself”—that’s an attack. But “Maybe try working out three times a week instead of two to reach your goals faster”—that’s constructive criticism. (Of course, tone matters.)
Identify the Emotional Trigger
Understand what triggers your fear of criticism. Is it the person’s tone ? The context ? The individual ?Knowing what activates the fear helps reduce and eventually eliminate it.
Example : You react strongly when an authoritative person criticizes you. This could stem from past experiences with family, for instance.
Create Inner Distance
Before reacting or shutting down, pause. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that one critique shouldn’t ruin your day. Easier said than done, but remember: by choosing personal growth, you’re already doing more than 90% of people. Don’t take everything to heart. Let the person think you’re considering their words, then carry on with your original plan.
Example: You get a negative comment on a post. Don’t reply immediately. Ask yourself if that comment should change your day. The answer is no. So respond kindly and keep going.
Rewrite Your Relationship with Criticism
What if criticism were a growth tool? A way to discover who you are and what you want or don’t want ? You don’t have to take every critique seriously. You can listen and then move on. Listening makes the critic feel heard, even if they’re just talking into the wind.
Example : You’re writing a letter to someone close. A friend reads it and says they wouldn’t write it that way. Nod, listen, and once they leave, continue writing your letter your way, with your feelings and intent.
Affirm Your Right to Imperfection
No one is perfect, and anyone who claims otherwise is lying. Everyone makes mistakes, fails, and learns. That’s how change happens.
Example : You’re trying to build a morning routine. You’ll test many things before finding what works. Not everything will suit you, but at least you tried.
Surround Yourself with Supportive Feedback
Not all opinions are equal. Friends and family express themselves differently. Some people don’t want you to succeed and will sabotage you. Distance yourself from fake friends and build a kind, supportive circle. You’ll see your fear of criticism fade with people who truly have your back.
Example : A friend tells you you’ll never make it because you didn’t study the same things ? Walk away. Find friends who help you grow in areas you’re still discovering.
Concrete Examples of Transformation
To overcome fear, sometimes radical action is the most effective. You have to face it head-on.Let me explain :Afraid of public speaking ? Do it. Say hello to strangers.Afraid of being judged at the gym ? Go and do your workout.Afraid of criticism? Do things that will attract it, so you can train yourself not to take it personally.I’m not saying it’ll be easy.
Here’s my personal experience : I used to dread calling clients, afraid of saying something wrong or not finding the right words. So I forced myself to call 15-20 clients on speakerphone with a colleague to build the habit. It might take longer for you, but repetition is the only way.
Conclusion
The fear of being criticized doesn’t vanish overnight. But it can be tamed, transformed, and integrated. Eventually, it helps you know what you want, and what you don’t, and stops you from taking everything personally.
In personal development, learning to welcome criticism is learning to know yourself, to grow, and to adapt in order to improve.
